Eureka moment - week 6

So, as I was preparing my paper, I was astonished by how much sex and sex-related action is on TV today. I probably could've done a paper on that alone. Some of the shows that really stuck out were: "The Real World", "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila", "Temptation Island", "Jersey Shore". And these are just the Reality TV shows. "Nowhere is commodified sexuality more prominent than in reality TV shows (Lundy, Ruth & Park, 2008). I don't think you could turn the television on without running into one of these types of shows. Why is everything centered around sex? What happened to PG-rated sitcoms & game shows? I mean you can find these if you look real hard, but there certainly not the main features anymore. Before you'd have to be on HBO or Showtime to watch this type of stuff; now its on local stations! As a parent, it's even hard to block what your children watch using parental controls because the FCC has expanded what is allowable on their stations. I just hope someone figures this out before it gets even more out of control. More & more kids, following the examples they see, are having sex, leading to STDs and/or getting pregnant (sometimes leading to abortion). I'd like to go back to a time of holding hands & going steady!

Week 5 Eureka

Soo...my recital was this past weekend. I've been dancing since I was 2 and my older daugther has been as well. And, my mom teaches and participates in our class as well ;) As I looked at the full stage of over 100 children during the finale, something was glaringly obvious...there was a "sea" of girls and only 2 boys! Now, it's not like I expected there to be a ton, but 2?! It's interesting to me how shows like America's Best Dance Crew, America's Got Talent, Dancing with the Stars, etc. feature amazing male dancers who gain so much attention and often attract others, although the younger aged boys just don't dance! Unfortunately, I feel a lot of this has to do with Dads not wanting "their son" to be the one dancing on a stage. They'd rather sign them up for football, baseball, soccer...you get the point! When my son was young, probably 3 or 4, I enrolled him in dance. I know my husband was slightly bothered, although since he was so young, it was just soo cute...him on the stage dancing to "Chapel of Love" with 15 little girls in white tutus. Ironic how adorable that was given what it could've been portrayed as. If there was 1 little girl and 15 boys, would it have been as cute?

Anyway, back to the issue...this fits right in line with how boys are taught to demonstrate masculinity and build on their masculine skills and talents from a young age. After the show, my daughter told us that my nephew, a 5-year old boy, said he wanted to dance. My mom asked his dad how he would feel and he sort of avoided the answer and you could tell was uncomfortable. His mom, my sis-in-law, said she would allow it if he really showed an interest. Of course, we knew that would only fly if he continued playing on the football team he was signed up for a couple months ago.

To share a positive story, there was one boy who my son played football with a few years ago that also played baseball and danced. He, nor his mom were afraid to share this, as he demonstrated a lot of talent in the other sports he played in, which made it hard to tease him. Not only did he dance, he took several classes and competed. The most amazing thing, that totally blew me away, was when he had his birthday party at his dance studio. I mean, here's a 9 year old boy inviting his football team to his dance party!! It was GREAT! Once the boys saw each other starting to actually participate in the routine they were being taught, it was considered acceptable and there were quite a few who ended up dancing. I knew this had to take a lot of guts on the boy's end and I was proud that he went with his passion and desire despite what the other boys might say. It gave each of them a new perspective and expanded their horizons, even if just for a couple hours!

Blog - Week 4 - Pink & blue

During our marriage group meeting this past week, we decided to start a new series entitled Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. In the first part of this series, which is all we've watched so far, he set up a really interesting metaphor to help us to understand a basic communication barrier. The premise was that women hear through "pink headphones", see through "pink glasses" and talk though a "pink microphone" and men hear through "blue headphones", see through "blue glasses" and talk through "blue headphones". This metaphor was used to provide a "aha" for why what women and men say to each other can often be perceived differently. It seems so basic, yet so true. For example, a woman might say, "I have nothing to wear!" despite a full closet of clothes. To another woman, it's quite clear, right? Nothing looks good or fits that day! When a man says, "I have nothing to wear!"he generally means nothing is clean. Right there, we see how the same statement said by opposite sexes takes on two totally different meanings. Therefore, when a women makes that statement to a man, he looks at her like she's nuts! This is obviously just one very basic statement that can be made in a conversation. Imagine how many statements/conversations in one day result in "miscommunication"? And, it's not even our faults. It's just who we are and how we communicate! Perhaps if we all thought about this more often, we would be more sensitive to how we communicate to the opposite sex and realize that what we say may not be what is heard. Ultimately, our communication with the opposite sex could entail more clarification and understanding. What an idea!!

Love & Respect Live Marriage Conference: 7 Hours on DVD. Dir. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. 2005. DVD.

Blog 3 - Reality TV

As I sit here and write this blog, I have the "Real Housewives of NJ" playing in the background. I'm not sure what my obsession with these "train wrecks" as my husband refers to them, but perhaps it's that I can't look away! In fact, on a couple of occassions I've actually gone to bed way too late just to stay up and watch these shows (which I have on DVR)! If I had to guess why I'm so addicted, perhaps one reason is my interest in psychology. I know that may seem really strange, although I'm always analzying people and their motives. Also, I easily "connect" to others and while I obviously don't have a relationship with the people I watch on TV, I feel like I know them. This weird "bond" causes me to attach to them and their situation. At the end of the show, when the previews for the following week come on, I can't wait to see what happens. I almost feel invested in their lives and discuss with friends as if we are talking about a mutual friend. Wood states, "Girls and women often use media to build relationships." Since most of my friends watch the same shows, it gives us something to talk about outside of the stress of our own lives. When I try to recount some of the crazy situations I observe to my husband, he's totally disinterested. In his mind, these shows don't even warrant conversation. Looks like I'll be keeping my reality tv gossip with the girls for now!

Blog #2 - Eureka moment

My Eureka moment came earlier this week while I was in the shower! I had my ipod on shuffle and the song "Baby Got Back" came on. Normally, I would just sing and dance in the shower, although my 7 year old happened to wake up and come in the bathroom. With lyrics like, "I like big butts and I can not lie, You other brothers can't deny, That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough' Cause you notice that butt was stuffed, Deep in the jeans she's wearing I'm hooked and I can't stop staring Oh baby, I wanna get with you And take your picture My homeboys tried to warn me But that butt you got makes me so horny" (Sir Mix A Lot). This was always a song that came on the radio when I was growing up and I just sang along and laughed. My friends and I always teased each other with the intro.

Maybe it's taking this class, which is forcing our brains to analyze everything, or my 7 year old daughter being present, but I could not believe how inappropriate the words were. The entire song is completely demeaning to women. Of course this song has a good beat and a catchy chorus. I can't imagine how many boys and men went around singing and dancing to this song, especially in clubs, and how many girls and women just laughed and went along with it. It's songs and lyrics like these, played on the radio, in bars and clubs, etc. that make it "okay" for men to talk about "women" and degrade them like this. Especially being a mother, I'll be sure to pay attention to what my children are listening to. While it's easy to get caught up in the beat and chorus of a song, it's important to understand what is being said before you walk around singing a song, especially one that is demeaning you!!

My first blog

Today is the first day of my online class for the summer semester - Gender & Communication. Being a HR Professional, I found this topic intriguing and oddly enough, found myself wanting to dive right into the book and learn all the interesting facts. I was pretty surprised to learn, almost right off the bat, that gender and sex have different meanings. I also don't think I realized how much interest there was in this topic and how analyzed it is. It's interesting to me how some people are so caught up in not being "stereotyped". Is it really that deep? Don't we all realize that not everyone is the same and there are always exceptions to the "rule"? It's funny because my husband and I don't have the "typical" roles society would say are the norm.. My husband goes to school, takes care of the kids, household chores and dinner most of the time, while I work full-time, go to school, etc. Regardless of what others may think, this works for us! The funny thing is, which I noticed the book pointed out pretty early on, is that I'll still tend to offer up responsibilities that men have to my husband such as clearing the sidewalk after it snows. He's always baffled when I play the "most men..." card, especially since our relationship is not like most others. I'm sure by the end of this class I'll be more aware of the things I say and do. Looking forward to where this takes me...