Soo...my recital was this past weekend. I've been dancing since I was 2 and my older daugther has been as well. And, my mom teaches and participates in our class as well ;) As I looked at the full stage of over 100 children during the finale, something was glaringly obvious...there was a "sea" of girls and only 2 boys! Now, it's not like I expected there to be a ton, but 2?! It's interesting to me how shows like America's Best Dance Crew, America's Got Talent, Dancing with the Stars, etc. feature amazing male dancers who gain so much attention and often attract others, although the younger aged boys just don't dance! Unfortunately, I feel a lot of this has to do with Dads not wanting "their son" to be the one dancing on a stage. They'd rather sign them up for football, baseball, soccer...you get the point! When my son was young, probably 3 or 4, I enrolled him in dance. I know my husband was slightly bothered, although since he was so young, it was just soo cute...him on the stage dancing to "Chapel of Love" with 15 little girls in white tutus. Ironic how adorable that was given what it could've been portrayed as. If there was 1 little girl and 15 boys, would it have been as cute?
Anyway, back to the issue...this fits right in line with how boys are taught to demonstrate masculinity and build on their masculine skills and talents from a young age. After the show, my daughter told us that my nephew, a 5-year old boy, said he wanted to dance. My mom asked his dad how he would feel and he sort of avoided the answer and you could tell was uncomfortable. His mom, my sis-in-law, said she would allow it if he really showed an interest. Of course, we knew that would only fly if he continued playing on the football team he was signed up for a couple months ago.
To share a positive story, there was one boy who my son played football with a few years ago that also played baseball and danced. He, nor his mom were afraid to share this, as he demonstrated a lot of talent in the other sports he played in, which made it hard to tease him. Not only did he dance, he took several classes and competed. The most amazing thing, that totally blew me away, was when he had his birthday party at his dance studio. I mean, here's a 9 year old boy inviting his football team to his dance party!! It was GREAT! Once the boys saw each other starting to actually participate in the routine they were being taught, it was considered acceptable and there were quite a few who ended up dancing. I knew this had to take a lot of guts on the boy's end and I was proud that he went with his passion and desire despite what the other boys might say. It gave each of them a new perspective and expanded their horizons, even if just for a couple hours!
My response to George:
ReplyDeleteGeorge,
It seems as though you had the answers to most of your questions. The "Ladies Night" strategy is definitely in place to attract men. Most club owners have the goal to get in 60% women and 40% men. They know by advertising Ladies night, they will definitely attract women and by doing so, will ultimately attract men. I suppose they figure if they held "Gentleman's night", they may not get the same response from ladies. I'm sure this is frustrating to guys, although unfortunately it's worked this way at clubs for a long time and while it continues to keep the business going, it will most likely remain in effect.
With regards to your second question, most ladies are taught not to approach a guy first. Our mothers have instilled values that go something like, "making the first move will show that you're...easy, desperate, etc.". Therefore, while a lot of girls don't necessarily carry out the values of their moms, this seems to be one thing that sticks. Another "old school tradition" that seems to still be around most of the time is guys picking up the tab for ladies. Therefore, it is in line when a guy buys a girl a drink or picks up her food tab. Perhaps there are times when its done to "use" the guy, although many times it's just the expectation ladies have since this is how they were taught and/or raised. Hang in there...I'm not sure things are going to change any time soon, although you always have the power to make your own decisions.